Friday, September 23, 2005

 

Li Ao Bejing University Speech, Part II

為什麼沒有鋪紅地毯?
How come they did not roll out the red carpet?

我必須和大家說,接下來這個演講的時候是劉長樂頭家告訴我,最後我問他一句話,把他問得愣住了,我說有沒有鋪紅地毯?我進門的時候,他說你沒有,柯林頓有,連戰有,你沒有,我說為什麼我沒有?他說,北大尊敬你,把你當成學術演講,所以不鋪紅地毯---校長,是不是這個意思?我說好,我做學術演講,講得好就是學術演講,講不好,講一半,鋪紅地毯還來得及。
I need to tell everyone, before starting this lecture Mr. Liu Zhang Le told me, finally I asked him, and he was shocked. I asked are they rolling out the red carpet when I enter? He said no. Clinton got it, Lein Chan got it, you don’t get it. I asked why? He said, Beijing University is treating you as an Academic Lecturer, so there is no red carpet. Principal, is this your intention? I said okay. I will be an Academic Lecturer. If it is a good speech it will be an Academic Lecture. If it is a bad speech, I'll stop in the middle, there will still be time to roll out the red carpet.

為什麼我要這樣說?不然人家說北京大學勢利眼,怎麼不給李敖鋪紅地毯,怎麼給當官的,或者說是政治人物鋪紅地毯,我在這兒有很多人眼睛看著我,說李敖罵過國民黨,罵過民進黨,罵過老美,罵過小日本,今天你在北京,你敢罵共產黨?很多人不懷好意,幸災樂禍看著我。我告訴你,我先不罵共產黨,我先讚美共產黨和國民黨曾經打倒的勢力,那就是北洋軍閥,為什麼讚美北洋軍閥,大家知道嗎?北京大學怎麼出來的,北洋軍閥,什麼人叫蔡元培校長做北京大學校長?那時候他是國民黨人的身分,是北洋軍閥,北洋軍閥有這個肚量把全國最好的大學交給和他敵對的一個政治勢力的首敵,我們現下罵北洋軍閥,我們有什麼資格罵北洋軍閥呢?
我們不要罵北洋軍閥,我們要做歷史性的反省。

Why did I have to said like that? Or else people will say Beijing University is snobbish. Why not give Li Ao the red carpet treatment? How is it official, or how to you determine it’s a political lecture and roll out the red carpet? As I am here many people’s eyes are on me, thinking Li Ao criticized the KMT, criticized the DPP, criticized the Americans, criticized the Japanese. Today he came to Beijing University, will he dare criticize the CCP? Many people have doubts, taking pleasure at my possible misfortunes while looking at me. I tell you, I will not criticize the CPP first. I will first praise the joint effort of the CCP and KMT to overthrowing Northern Warlords. Does everyone know why the Northern Warlords? How did Beijing University come about? The Northern Warlords. How did a person called Cai Yuan Pei become Beijing University's Principal? At the time he was of the KMT party. It was the Northern Warlords. The Northern Warlords had the tolerance to put the Nation's best University under the control of the enemy, a member of their number one political enemy at the time. Now we criticize the Northern Warlords. What qualifications do we have to criticize the Northern Warlords? We must not criticize them, but we must evaluate them from a historical perspective.

(More tomorrow, maybe)

Thursday, September 22, 2005

 

Li Ao Beiing University Speech

各位終於看到我了,主任,校長,總裁,各位貴賓,各位老師,各位小朋友﹗

We finally get to meet me, host, principals, officers, VIP, teachers, and students.

來演講緊張不緊張?緊張,站在大庭廣眾面前,很多人可以指揮千軍萬馬的軍隊,可是你讓他講幾句話,他就縮了不敢講話,什麼原因?膽小!美國人打贏南北戰爭的將軍葛蘭特,指揮千軍萬馬打贏仗,林肯總統請他上台給他勳章,讓他幾句話,他講不出口,為什麼?怕這玩意,一講演就緊張。

Am I nervous coming here to make a speech? I am nervous, standing in front of a large audience in the auditorium. Many people here can control a mighty military, but you allow me to speak a few words. I would shrink and not dare speak, for what reason? Cowards! When Americans won the Civil War between the North and South, General Grant, who controlled a mighty military force, was presented a medal by President Lincoln. He was allowed to speak a few words, but he didn’t say a word. Why? Because he was afraid of the situation, and froze when he was about to speak.

沒小抄 調侃連戰
Roasting of Lien Chan


前天晚上我編了一個故事,北京大學一個女孩子進了一個小房間,突然看到一個男的在一個小房間裡嘴巴裡面念念有詞,來回走動,這個女孩子就問他,你在幹嗎,他說我在背講演稿,她說你在哪兒講演,他說我要在北京大學講演,女孩子說,你緊張嗎?他說我不緊張,女孩子說,如果你不緊張,為什麼你到女廁所來幹什麼?這個人就是連戰。

A few nights ago I wrote a story. At Beijing University a female student enters a small room. All of sudden she see a boy in the room mumbling something while pacing about. She asked “What are you doing?” The boy replied, “I’m preparing for a speech.” The girl asked in response, “Where are you giving the speech?” The boy in return says, “At Beijing University.”
“Are you nervous?” The girl asked.
“No I am not.” The boy replied
“If you are not nervous, why are in you in the girls restroom?” The girl asked.
This is the man Lien Chan.

台灣有一位很有名的歌星,崔苔菁(吹台青),你們不曉得這三個字的意思,吹是吹牛,台是台灣人,青是青年,台灣要靠混,靠吹牛,又是青年人混,連戰就是這種人。他可以糊弄別人,糊弄不到我們,可以糊弄你們,至少前一陣子糊弄你們。今天一個重要的標準,就是你們任何人覺得連戰講演好的人,我就要警告你們,今天你們可能很失望,為什麼呢?因為我無法花一個小時把這個觀念轉過來,因為你們上了連戰的當以後,我很難把這個觀念轉過來。

Taiwan has a famous singer, Cui T'ai ching. You guys don't know the meaning of 3 words making up the name. Cui is as in “Bullshiting.” T'ai as in “Taiwanese.” Ching as in “Youth.” Taiwan depends on confusion, depends on bullshitting. Especially confusing young people. That's the type of person Lien Chan is. He can try to deceive other people, but he cannot deceive us. He can deceive you, like he tried the last time he came here. Today's very important to understand is you perceived Lien Chan speech reflected on him being a good person. I'm here to warn you, you may be very disappointed today, why? Because I have no way within 1 hour to change your opinion, because you've all been tricked by Lien Chan, it is very difficult for me to change your opinion around.

我在這兒埋怨一個人,埋怨我的頭家,鳳凰電視台的劉長樂先生,為什麼要埋怨他?他把我「故求」(弄)到北京來,對不起,我一看到你們就講很多鄉音,「故求」到北京來,可是我已經在中國大陸、在鳳凰電視台上講了有400多場,你們對我相當的熟悉,用一個熟悉的眼光來看我,我今天把這個講演講成功,這是高難度的,你們對連戰完全不了解,你們看到他嗎?所以對我熟悉,對我是個困難,這個困難是劉長樂頭家造成的,所以我今天有所抱怨。

I'm here to complain about one person, the person is my boss. Phoenix Television's Mr. Liu Zhang Le. Why do I want to complain about him? He sent me to Beijing because I demanded it. Sorry, after seeing you all I've reverted to my native accent. Coming to Beijing, but I'm already on the mainland, on Phoenix Television speaking on over 400 channels. You are all fairly familiar with me, looking at me with familiar eyes. I will succeed in today's speech, this is very difficult, you guys don't fully understand Lien Chan. You saw him right? Therefore you are familiar with me, this is very difficult for me. It's all the fault of the boss Mr. Liu Zhang Le. So that's my complaint for the day.

現下開始講正題了,羅馬教皇講了一句話,他說你演講的時候不能用稿子,為什麼不能用稿子,用稿子表示你記不住,如果你自己都記不住,你怎麼樣讓聽眾記得住呢?你這個演講就失敗了,所以大家看,沒有稿子,也沒有小抄,可是我帶了一些證據是有的,等會會顯示証據。

Now we start on the topic, Roman Catholic Pope said something once. He said when you give a speech one cannot use drafts. Why can’t you use notes? Using notes means you cannot remember. If you cannot remember, how do you expect the audience to remember? Your speech disappears. People will see no notes, no little slips of paper with reminders. But I did bring some evidence (props), which I will use later in the speech.

(more tommorow maybe)

Sunday, September 04, 2005

 

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